A formal petition · Ireland 2027

Dear Wife,

Before you say no, give us 90 seconds. We've prepared a presentation. Obviously.

Hear us out

Exhibit A

Once in a lifetime. Literally.

This isn't another golf trip. The Ryder Cup turns 100 in 2027, and it's being played in Ireland. That lineup doesn't come around again.

100Years of the Ryder Cup. 2027 is the centenary.
2Times Ireland has ever hosted it. This is the second.
21Years since the last one. He'll be in a rocking chair for the next.
#1Course in Ireland is on the itinerary. Grown men cry there.

Exhibit B

He's not spending money. He's saving it.

Thanks to Dan's ridiculous memberships, the guys pay $1,013 less on green fees than everyone else. The whole trip comes in $11,000+ cheaper for the group than the cheapest official Ryder Cup package.

So technically, the more golf he plays, the more money we save. Please do not check this math.

Midlife crisis optionsRoughly
Joining Trump Bedminster$150,000
Convertible sports car, plus a leather jacket he shouldn't wear$60,000+
A boat (Bust Out Another Thousand, every month, forever)$40,000+
One week in Ireland with the boys$5,400

Exhibit B, continued

Compared to the usual buddy trips

The same 6 nights and 6 rounds, flights from Newark included. Most cost more, and none of them come with the Ryder Cup.

DestinationFor the weekTotal per golfer
Pebble Beach6 nights at the Lodge, 6 rounds, flight to Monterey≈ $7,800
Pinehurst6 nights at the resort, 6 rounds including No. 2, flight to Raleigh≈ $6,300
Streamsong6 nights at the Lodge, 6 rounds, flight to Tampa≈ $5,800
Cabot Cliffs6 nights, 6 rounds on Cabot Links and Cliffs, flight to Halifax (plus a 3½-hour drive)≈ $4,400
Ireland with Dan6 nights, 6 rounds, the Ryder Cup in the Captain's Club, a rental car, flight to Shannon$4,833

Estimates per golfer, sharing rooms, before food and drink. Pebble, Pinehurst and Streamsong are scaled to 6 nights from published 3-night packages ($3,600, $3,040 and $2,750 per person). Cabot uses its September 2027 rates in USD plus tax. Flights are typical round-trip fares from Newark. Sources: Pebble Beach package, Pinehurst packages, Streamsong package, Cabot rates, KAYAK fares to Monterey, Raleigh, Tampa and Halifax.

Exhibit C

What he'll bring home

A sweaterIrish wool. Possibly for you. Probably in his size "by accident."
Trinkets for the kidsKeychains, a tiny leprechaun, and something with a shamrock on it.
Zero golf ballsHe'll lose every last one to the Atlantic. Nothing to unpack.
Anything you askOf him, for the next couple of weeks. No questions, no sighing.

The fine print

Our promises to you

  • 1
    A daily check-inA text, a photo, and proof of life. Before the second pint.
  • 2
    Home Sunday by mid-afternoonFlight lands. He comes home. No "the boys are staying an extra day."
  • 3
    Dan is the adult in chargeHe's run this trip for over 10 years. He knows the ropes, the roads and the bartenders.
  • 4
    No surprise purchasesNo cottages, no horses, no "investment opportunities" from a man named Seamus.

A fair trade

Redeemable upon his return

One week in Ireland buys you one of these. Choose wisely. No expiry date, no blackout dates.

Coupon 01A weekend awayYour pick. Your friends. Zero commentary.
Coupon 02A month of dishesAll of them. Including the pan you "left to soak."
Coupon 03Yard work, unpromptedNo reminders. No sighing. No "I was going to do it."
Coupon 04Your next trip, no questionsThe girls' trip gets approved on the spot.

Official approval

So, can he go?

Please select one. Choose carefully. Dan is watching.